problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
