Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
