i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
