so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
