I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
