we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
