we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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