I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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