I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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