Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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