I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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