Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
