she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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