And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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