Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
