dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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