don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you.
Bad choice
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
