i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
