That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
