No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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