"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
