I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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