I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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