I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize