He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
