I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
