He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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