i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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