____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
