I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
