'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
