he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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