Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
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I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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