real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
