You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
