I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
