in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
please don't ironically join a cult
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