Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize