i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
