party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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