BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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