oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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