Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize