You really coming over, don't trick.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
