John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize