Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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