At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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