It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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