i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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