what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize