Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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