I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
