My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize
