i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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