i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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