she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize