I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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