I wannas sexs uuuuu
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
