Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
