Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
