During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
