we have officially lost it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
